May 25, 2008
Wah.. Time does fly~
It is now May 25, and 6 more days to JUNE > 3 weeks left before I packed and leave for PJ where I will start my teaching practice in SMK La Salle in Brickfields>
At this moment of the time, I have completed reading HOLES [pretty interesting- finish it in 1 night] and yet to be completed are FASTING & FEASTING [Uma here, Uma there = Uma life’s really boring, same to Arun] & FAHRENHEIT 451.
Other than that, I have to worried about –
What to bring to PJ? Books, lesson plans, stationeries, attires, laptop, printer, papers, necessities and etc. etc.
When I am going to bring all the stuff above in?
Will I be ready then?
Then also, I have other things right on my mind -
Mom’s assignment, I need finish typing for her…
Prepare for my trip to Kuching – left 2 weeks from now.
My school…what I want to teach on the first day?
English, grammar – how else I can improve myself? Memorize? Read a lot of English books? How? Not enough time? [Shit, getting myself stress up again~~, I hate this feelings]
*** STOP***
That’s all. I don’t really want to stress myself up with unnecessary worries.
But the truth is I can’t.
Sometimes during middle of the night while reading FASTING & FEASTING, I will think about some of the comments that are being made in Simulated Teaching in Lit and TESL.
*** It seems that you still make the same errors over and over again…focus. I’m sure you can do better than this >>>>yeah but how?
*** Be careful with your language ***
*** Check your grammar ****
AAAaRRRRRHHH~~~~ [sobs].
Am I giving up too early?
I don’t know why I am feeling this now, but I know what I’m feeling now is just temporary. I have not stepped into a real classroom as a teacher, but I been there many times as a student. Is just a reverse of roles …I told myself even assured myself, it’s just 10 weeks, it will be over even before you realized it. But deep down, I am afraid to even think about my first step into the school.
I will be teaching in a boy’s school.
And the irony is I been in girl’s school all my life.
I wondered too – why I have been chosen to do TESL in UM.
It was one of my 8 choices – but being selected to do TESL is another different story then.
I realized being a teacher was never easy after I studied TESL. I realized that a teacher have to go through many drills, determination, hard work, perseverance and many tears before even becoming a true teacher.- and suddenly, unaware –tears flow down my cheeks – I have cried.
But for all the teachers that have been in my life – for what they did for me and never wanting to say the word ‘QUIT’.
And I think what is greater than being a teacher.
2 comments:
Dear dear Jade,
I think what you're going through is a phase that all the others are going through as well. On what to teach the first day...do you think it is wise to start teaching the first day? What would be the best way to start a lesson? Have you checked the links given by your friends, on my site? +hugs+
Juayn darling... I cried as well. I was sighing the whole way from my house to the airport on the day I was flying back to KL.
I cried in front of my parents because I really don't know what to do on THE FIRST DAY! So, don't you worry about all these. We are all in this together, okay?
That's the very reason why we have this blog community. That's the very reason why we have our Sifu to guide us all the way. That's why we have FRIENDS!
Sometimes I do feel that taking TESL in UM is the STUPIDEST thing I have ever done. But what I know is that, there's always a reason for everything. Soon enough, we will know the reason. Be it good or bad, this is something that we have to go through.
We learn everyday and in everything. That's what make us stronger in life.
I hope this help. I still have no idea what to do in the first day of class. Some of my friends who are teacher, they say "JUST HAVE FUN". But Mommy dearest says, "TEACH".
I say, "We'll know what to do."
Sifu mentioned something to me before, don't let others tell us what to do with our students. We are their teachers, we know what's best for them!.
So, don't fret... We are all in this together!
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